Inhibitions to surrendering to passion #4

Idealization The experience of falling in love is in direct response to special qualities of the beloved. By insisting that it is this unique man or this unique woman, the lover rejects any notion that individuals are interchangeable. In this way, love becomes a...

Inhibitions to surrendering to passion #5

Love Realized The idyllic phase Romantic love needs to be distinguished from carnal love, affectionate bonding and self aggrandizing love. What distinguishes romantic love is its intensity, the strong mutual identifications the lovers feel, and their longing for...

Realized Love #2

“We” Love creates new identities for the lovers. These are symbolized by the new names they give one another, the terms of endearment they use. Re-naming symbolizes the psychological fact that each lover now has a new identity, special and specific to the...

Realized Love #3

The sense of merger and transcendence Lovers may go beyond a sense of joint identity, may feel that they have in fact merged. The impulse to merge is often expressed by the metaphors of bodily incorporation,” “I could eat you up.” “He inhaled her presence,” “She drank...

Inhibitions to surrendering to passion #2

Love may confer a sense of inner rightness, peace and richness; or it may be a mode of transforming the self. Beyond enlarging and changing the self, love may also enable the lovers to break through the stifling limits of self. Hence, it is a mode of transcendence,...